Understanding Why You Fight, Flight or Fawn

[Part 2 /5] 

Surgical Stress

Training camp is a special time.
Players arrive in all kinds of states of preparation.
Some overtrained.
More undertrained.
Some carrying injuries.
Some fresh.

The key to a successful training camp is dosage.

I used to remind players:
𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗽𝗼𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗱𝗼𝘀𝗲.

Same compound.
Different outcome.

It's not what you take.
It's when, and how much.

Same with training or work stimulus.

The corporate equivalent is the extended project.
The eighteen-month integration.
The two-year strategy overhaul.
The acquisition that drags on.

Same principle applies.

And this is why people get sick immediately after projects end.

The immune system was suppressed during the sustained push.
The moment the project closes, the body finally has permission to break down.

You didn't catch the cold at the finish line.
Your body was fighting it for months.
You were in a state of 'excitation'.
The finish line was when it stopped fighting.

Selye mapped this in 1936 with the General Adaptation Syndrome:

𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝟭: 𝗔𝗟𝗔𝗥𝗠 Immediate response to stressor.
Sympathetic nervous system activates. Cortisol, adrenaline, noradrenaline flood the system. Fight-or-flight engaged. Resources mobilized.

𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝟮: 𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘 If threat diminishes, body remains alert while parasympathetic system tries to restore baseline.
This is where adaptation occurs—IF recovery is permitted. Miss this window and you miss the growth.

𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝟯: 𝗘𝗫𝗛𝗔𝗨𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡 If stressor continues without adequate recovery, physiological capacity to cope depletes.
Immune suppression. Inflammation. Accelerated aging. Maladaptation.

The Soviets built sporting empires on this insight. Matveyev's periodization work recognized that timing, dose, and recovery determine whether stress builds or breaks. Supercompensation - above-baseline adaptation - only occurs when stimulus and recovery align correctly.

𝗦𝗲𝗹𝘆𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗿𝗿𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗡𝗶𝗲𝘁𝘇𝘀𝗰𝗵𝗲.
It's not "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
It's "what doesn't kill you, IF you recover from it, makes you stronger."

The recovery is the variable everyone ignores.

𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀 + 𝗣𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗥𝗲𝗰𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 = 𝗚𝗿𝗼𝘄𝘁𝗵

𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀 + 𝗗𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗲𝗱 𝗥𝗲𝗰𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 = 𝗗𝗲𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻

The equation is simple.
Getting the dose and timing right is where leaders fail.

Tortoises & Hares

Everyone responds differently to training and stress.

Some players we called 'tortoises'.
Robust parasympathetic development. Could tolerate long, arduous training sessions. Ground through volume.
But they struggled with explosive work. Needed time to ramp up.

Others were 'hares'.
Powerful and explosive. Could deliver maximum output instantly.
But they were at risk with longer training or higher volumes. Their systems ran hot.

Same is true with business leaders.
Some are hares, some are tortoises.
Some people are naturally more prone to sympathetic dominance.
Others have stronger parasympathetic recovery capacity.

Knowing which you're working with changes everything.

The autonomic nervous system has two branches:

𝗦𝘆𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗰 ("𝗙𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗼𝗿 𝗙𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁")
Mobilizes resources.
Increases heart rate, blood pressure.
Prepares for action.
Necessary for performance.

𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗮𝘀𝘆𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗰 ("𝗥𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗗𝗶𝗴𝗲𝘀𝘁")
Promotes recovery.
Decreases heart rate.
Enables adaptation.
Necessary for sustainability.

When the balance breaks, you get dysfunction.

Sympathetic dominance means the system can't downregulate.
Constantly in "ready" mode.
Foot is always on the accelerator
Sleep disrupted.
Recovery impossible.
The alarm stage never turns off.
This is excitation, but not burn out.
Yet

Parasympathetic insufficiency means even rest doesn't restore.
The recovery systems can't activate.
Adaptation blocked.
Degradation accelerates.
This is overtraining syndrome.
This is actually burnout
Not just "too much work."
Autonomic nervous system dysregulation.

The system loses its ability to shift between states.
Performance declines despite continued effort.
More work makes it worse.

Biochemistry is slower to respond than the nervous system.
Heart Rate Variability measures this balance, not cortisol.
High variability = healthy parasympathetic activity.
Low variability = sympathetic dominance, system under strain.

Wang Shuhe was reading this through the pulse in 280 AD. The Soviets monitored Yuri Gagarin's heartbeat from space.

Both understood:
𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗵𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗺 𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀 𝘄𝗼𝗻'𝘁.

This is the physical reality of what "burnout" means.

Not a mindset problem.
Not weakness.

Autonomic dysregulation.
Measurable.
Predictable.
And VERY Preventable.

The Rookie And The Veteran

When rookies join a team—especially in decision roles like quarterback in the NFL or fly-half in rugby—it's fascinating to watch.

Same pressure moment.
Same stakes.
Same environment.

One fights.
One withdraws.
One freezes completely.

And all for different reasons.

Everything we've covered so far has been internal architecture.
Life Model.
Allostasis.
Functional reserve.
Autonomic regulation.

But how does manifest externally?

The same internal process produces different observable responses.

When the Life Model interprets threat, the organism responds.

These responses are observable:
𝗙𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧 — Engage the threat directly
𝗙𝗟𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧 — Remove self from threat
𝗙𝗔𝗪𝗡 — Appease to reduce threat
𝗙𝗔𝗜𝗡𝗧 — Processing overwhelm (can't categorize)
𝗙𝗥𝗘𝗘𝗭𝗘 — Response exhaustion (nothing left)

Here's the problem:
𝗘𝘅𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗲.

Two people can look identical from outside.
Both silent.
Both withdrawn.
Both unresponsive.

But internal states may be opposite.
One has resources and can't deploy them.
One has no resources left.

Same behavior.
Different architecture.

This is why some handle pressure others can't.

It's not better "stress management."
It's actually familiarity.

Elite performers have experienced that physiological state so many times it feels like repetition, not novelty.

The stress response is identical.
But interpretation shifts from "danger" to "I've been here before."

Soviet cosmonauts experienced simulated launch conditions until the actual launch felt routine.
That's not toughness.
That's training the Life Model to categorize extreme states as familiar rather than novel.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗽𝘂𝘁.
𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗵𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲.

If you're a leader and diagnosing from output alone?
You're getting it wrong.

Why It's Unlikely You're Burnt Out

So many people throw the term 'burnout' around.

I've seen real burnout firsthand.

Even famous names.
Struggling on the field.
Complete states of exhaustion.
Especially as the season neared the end.

The media, fans, and public unaware.
The "dip" in performance isn't "form."
That person is struggling to manage multiple stressors.
On and off the field.
Maybe hiding an injury from the opposition.

What looks like decline is often a "cascade" playing out.

𝗧𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗳𝗶𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝗮𝗽.
Think of it as a way to understand how and why your people respond the way they do.

Responses typically follow a conditional pattern:
Stimulus → Life Model Interpretation → Threat Detected
    ↓
FIGHT or FLIGHT (based on resource assessment + escape availability)
    ↓
[If failed or unavailable]
    ↓
FAWN (social appeasement—last active attempt)
    ↓
[If failed]
    ↓
FREEZE (system overwhelm—response exhaustion)
 
*BYPASS: FAINT can occur at ANY point if stimulus exceeds processing capacity*

This isn't a menu of parallel choices.
It's a conditional sequence.

Fight and flight are active responses.
Resources deployed.

Fawn is often the last active attempt.

Freeze is what typically happens when active responses fail.

Faint is different. Processing failure that can bypass the sequence entirely.


Leaders see 'freeze' and think: "Disengagement." "Lack of commitment." "Giving up."

But what's actually happening:
Every active response was attempted or considered.
All failed or were impossible.
The system has nothing left.

𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲.
𝗜𝘁'𝘀 𝘀𝘆𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗺 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗲.

When you understand the map?
You can read your people.
You can help your people.

That direct report who's withdrawn?
Are they in Flight?
Fawn?
Freeze?
Faint?

Each requires something different.

The cascade is a conditional pattern, not a menu.
Knowing where someone is in the pattern determines what they need.

𝗧𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗿𝗲𝗲𝘇𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗮 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗿𝘀.

Fight, Flight ... or Fawn

Some leaders struggle with pressure.
And you can watch the progression
If you know what to look for.

First, they react and confront the issue or person.
𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝗳𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁.
Engaging directly.
Mobilizing resources.
Attempting to overcome.

When that doesn't resolve it, they try to escape.
𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝗳𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁.
Seeking exit.
Withdrawing.
Creating distance.

Finally, they give in.
𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝗳𝗮𝘄𝗻.
Submitting to the process.
Capitulating.
Appeasing to reduce threat.

Exhausted, they stop.


Each stage is an active response:

𝗙𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧
Resource appraisal: my resources ≥ the threat?
Orientation: aggressive.
Action: engage directly.
What you see: intensity, confrontation, energy output, pushback.
What it needs: clear target, channel for energy, resolution path.
What makes it worse: ambiguity, restraint without resolution.

𝗙𝗟𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧
Resource appraisal: my resources < threat?
But escape available.
Orientation: fear-based.
Action: remove self from threat.
What you see: withdrawal, avoidance, exit-seeking, distancing.
What it needs: exit path, permission to withdraw, safety.
What makes it worse: blocked escape, forced engagement.

But ... 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀 𝗳𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘂𝘀 𝗳𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁?

Resource appraisal:
Can I overcome this?
Escape availability: can I exit?
Orientation: aggressive versus fear-based?
Prior experience: what's worked before?

𝗙𝗔𝗪𝗡
When it occurs: fight hasn't resolved threat, flight isn't possible.
Strategy: social appeasement—placate, please, submit.
Goal: reduce threat through compliance and connection.
What you see: excessive agreement, people-pleasing, conflict avoidance.
What it needs: safety signal, power equalization, acceptance.
What makes it worse: continued threat, rejection of submission.

Fawn is the last active attempt.

Common in environments where fight and flight carry consequences.
Workplace power imbalances.
Dependent relationships.

𝗙𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁, 𝗳𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗳𝗮𝘄𝗻 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲.
Resources mobilized.
System attempting resolution.

Your body is always trying to find a solution!